Hi-ho hi-ho…

It’s back to school she goes!

This six weeks holiday has been a bit of a dud for Soph. We managed that first week away but after that, we pretty much functioned around Finn.

As he’s been so bad with his gut – like screaming the fucking house down, our nerves are frazzled and tears have been cried kind of bad – we’ve felt quite restricted as to what we can do and how far we can go as we didn’t want him to suffer whilst we were out and about. That being said, we think we have him sorted now as he’s not seeming to struggle so much after a feed.

Milk and prune juice for breakfast 🀒

So after all the hanging around home and doting on her screeching little brother, I think that she was ready to get a break and a bit of time for herself back at school.

Soph has always loved school, she really enjoys learning new things and she has missed some of her friends and classmates so she was definitely keen to get back for the new year.

This year she started “real” school as she’s now in year one and for some reason that makes her seem so much more grown up! She came home with a brand spanking new reading diary, plenty of stories of what had happened that day and a massive smile on her face.

So excited for school!

Right now when you ask her what she wants to be when she grows up she will tell you that she wants to be a “stage girl”. Shes been obsessed since watching Annie and she’s always singing and dancing around the house.

As if someone was listening to her, we received a leaflet through the door about a theatre school called Razzamataz. They do all sorts of singing, dancing and theatre classes and they are having an open evening next week which I’ve booked her into.

I really hope that she enjoys it and if she does, I’ll get her booked into the class as I think it will be great for her. Learning new skills, gaining confidence, performance experience and making new friends is only going to help her as she grows and if she decides that she does want to pursue a career in the theatre when she’s older, I’ll do whatever I can to help her reach her goals and make her dreams come true.

I wonder what Finn will say he wants to be when he’s five?!?!

Sister and brother loves 😍πŸ₯°
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Belated He’s Here Post!!!

So my life has been insanely different these past weeks and whilst at times it has felt a little overwhelming, I’m loving every second! This will probably be a long post as it’s been just over nine weeks since I last posted and we’ve had quite a lot going on. So lets start at the start…

Birth Story!

On the 10th of June I was 3 days overdue and starting to feel more regular, but mild, contractions. I thought nothing much of it until I had just cooked us all our evening meal and my waters broke just as I’d sat down to eat. In my pregnancy with Soph, I didn’t know my waters had broken as they went as I was projectile vomiting in hospital after trying the gas and air (I’m a classy bird!) but this time I felt the most strange bulging sensation and I swear I even heard the pop of them going. I shouted to my hubby that I thought they’d gone and waddled my way to the loo, jeans soaked, not knowing if I should laugh or cry, to check what was going on. Soph had previously done a doo in me so I checked my waters and I found that her brother had took a crap too, so I rang the delivery unit at hospital who wanted me to come in so that they could check me over.

We dropped Soph over to my mums who was able to look after her for us (the woman is a legend!) and made our way up to hospital where I was checked over at around 7pm and admitted to the delivery suite at 7:15pm as there was definitely meconium in my waters. This was it, this baby was coming at some point soon!

When I was put into a room I was given a check to see how dilated I was and at that point I was only 2cm. I was told that they wanted to start my labour off but wanted to check with a doctor on how to proceed so I was hooked up to the monitor to check baby over and left alone for a little while.

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It was at this point that the contractions started to come more regularly and with a bit more force but I found watching them on the readout took my mind off of things a bit. Annoyingly, I was soon taken off of the monitor and told that I would be re-examined at midnight and depending on my progress, put on to an IV drip to speed up my labour.

The pain began to increase quite rapidly a little while later and when the midwife came back to see me at around 10pm I asked what my options were for pain relief. I was told that I’d probably be in labour for quite some time to come and to go without pain relief (diamorphine) for as long as possible as they can only give it me every so often. I spoke with Baz at this point who had pointed out that I’d already managed to make it half way to my next check at midnight, and together we decided that I’d just keep going as long as I could. I could see that he was worried about me though, as with every contraction he was now reminding me to breathe and I was shaking my legs so hard the entire bed was rattling.

I managed another hour but then I had what I thought was the need to push but thought that couldn’t be right as I was expected (and expecting) to be going a lot longer at this point. The feeling didn’t subside so I relented and used the call button. When a different midwife came in (mine was on dinner break) I explained that I felt ready to push and she gave me a quick look over and decided that I was only 8cm so not quite there yet. Within the space of a single contraction she watched me dilate further and at that point it was go time.

When it came time to push I was like a woman possessed, I wasn’t given anything to hold on to so I used the back of the bed and ended up yanking the thing so hard that my arms were screaming for the next few days! I was also really concerned for Baz as I could just hear him breathing really heavily over my left side whilst he was helping brace my leg. I don’t know what the difference was for him this time compared to our last pregnancy, but he really seemed to take this one quite a bit harder and was much more worried about me. Anyways, at 11:13pm our son’s head had crowned and Finnick William was welcomed into the worldΒ at 11:14pm with no pain medication and no medical intervention. I ended up with a small tear to my labia which needed stitching and a “moderate” amount of blood loss and Hulk arms but other than that, all was well.

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My first picture with Finn
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A very drained daddy!

They gave Finn a check over and he was perfect, weighing in at 7lbs 4oz like his sister! They popped a red hat on him as he was classed as high risk due to my thyroid and then came time to try to feed him. I really wanted to try and breastfeed again as I didn’t manage it with Soph but frustratingly, it was not meant to be. I couldn’t get him to latch after a good while of trying and neither could the lactation consultant. Due to both of our upset, I began to express into a cup and used a syringe to feed him … just like his sister, with the promise to keep trying to get him on the breast. Sadly, this didn’t happen – it turns out that Finnick has a tongue tie which causes his tongue to not be able to roll correctly in order to feed from the nipple so I decided to express and fed him from a bottle.

We were expecting to be held in hospital for a good couple of days due to monitoring like last time but they turfed me out the next afternoon, just after Soph had arrived for a visit with me and her new little brother. She said that she loved him straight away but she wouldn’t hold him as he was too small and she was scared.

I was later seen back at home by a community midwife who decided to send us to see a lactation specialist as she believed that Finn would need to have his tie cut due to potential speech problems later on. We met with the specialist who explained that he could have his tongue tie cut so that he could feed from the nipple but that there was no proof that the tie would cause him trouble with his speech. I myself have a tongue tie and I’ve never had any problems with speech and as I was expressing well, and he was content with feeding from the bottle, we decided against it especially as the specialist pointed out that getting him back to the nipple could be incredibly hard work and my confidence was already shot from not being able to get him or his sister to latch naturally.

Fast forwards to now and he is totally off of my breast milk which I am somewhat gutted about. The reason for this is that he has been suffering with some awful colic and we have hated seeing him writhing around in so much pain. We were using Infacol which wasn’t seeming to be helping so the community midwife told us to try Dentinox instead. She also explained that he may have a “lactose immaturity” and to try Colief which helps to reduce the amount of lactose in milk. We started using both of these products and after a week or so, things had improved but he was still suffering really badly and all I could think was that it was because of my milk. We then decided to pop him onto comfort formula milk and the change in him was crazy! He still suffers with colic but it is nowhere near what it was like, however, we have found that being on formula milk seemed to back him up, so after reading around tons of forums I decided to add 1/2 an ounce of prune juice to one bottle a day and so far it has helped him pass his poops much easier and he isn’t getting distressed having them build up for a few days at a time.

So yeah, we are currently enjoying lazy days due to it being the summer holidays and trying to get to grips with having two little people who need and want our attention at all times. It has been a challenge at times getting schedules in place for the school run and getting things done around the house but we are slowly but surely getting there. It might be a little chaotic at times, but I wouldn’t change it for the world!

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A Long Overdue Catch Up

So it’s been about 97 days since my last post and I think it is definitely time for a catch up! It has been a crazy and, at times, hard 97 days filled with kid’s birthday parties, chickenpox, school runs, school-run-mum drama, plenty of tv watching and cinema trips, general day-to-day life experiences and complete and utter shock but overall it’s been pretty damn good!

So where to start?

Well the one year gym membership is over and at this time has not been renewed. I’m hoping that we will renew or maybe find a new gym or some other way to exercise together later but right now I’ve been struggling with my knee (I’ve somehow managed to bruise the inside of it and the doctor I saw said he doesn’t understand how I’ve managed it – he also had no way of fixing it and didn’t want to refer me. The problem resolved itself after a few weeks of me hobbling around but has since come back a number of times. I’ve now found that if I stretch my knee in a certain way that I can seem to reverse the pain of it, so that’s where I’m at with that right now!) and have found that we weren’t going so rather than waste money, we’ve called it quits for a bit. I enjoyed going to the gym but found that the one we attended didn’t want to get too involved with helping you make or hit targets, we’d never been given a plan to workout by and when we asked about diets, we were given a speech on how the government is causing us cancer and the only thing we should do is go vegan with protein shakes added in. I’ll admit, I have looked into trying a vegan lifestyle in the past but right now I don’t think I’d manage it … it may be something that I come back to in the future but if you have or know of any decent vegan recipes then please feel free to send them my way so i can give them a go!

The worst thing we’ve had to go through is Soph getting the Chickenpox.

It has been doing the rounds at school and we knew that it was coming but it’s a bugger nonetheless! We got a text from one of the school mums saying that her daughter’s birthday party was cancelled this weekend as she has developed Chickenpox and the very next day, Soph woke up with two fluid filled spots on her head. We were thinking that we may have been lucky and that she’d be one of the people who is lucky enough to just have a few spots but by the next morning she had a good covering of them! They were in her ears, around her eyes, in her mouth and in her more intimate areas – the poor kid was miserable and I felt awful for her! We have been popping her in bicarb baths after reading that it helps with itching and I can honestly say that she has not itched once on her body, her head is a different matter but she’s doing well at not scratching. They are mostly scabbed over now so it won’t be much longer until she’s back at school and she’s really looking forward to that, especially as World Book Day has been pushed back due to the snow and this kid loves having a reason to dress up!

The cutest thing that we’ve experienced is Sophie-Anne’s Christmas play. She was a hen and she totally nailed all of the songs and dances, she got her lines out really clearly and she helped her friends remember their cues … it was adorable and she has since decided that she wants to be on stage when she’s older. She’s five so I know that this dream of hers will probably change a million and one times but I’m good with it!

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Soph as a hen in her school play!

The most celebrated thing that we experienced was Soph turning 5! She had a blast with a party at her favourite soft play centre and she invited twenty of her school friends to join her. Every year the hubby and I buy her presents between us but we have started to buy her an individual present from each of us to make it a little extra special. This year she got a new Ted Baker dress from her daddy as she loves to twirl in pretty dresses and her first ring from Pandora from me as she admires my diamond engagement ring and told me she’d like one the same as she likes to match me (melt my heart kid! Melt. My. Heart!) so whilst I wouldn’t buy her a ring quite like mine, I did find her one that had a “diamond” in a cute heart setting that she seems quite taken with so I’ll class that as a win!

The most unbelievable and amazing thing to happen is that we found out that I am pregnant!!!!!!

As I mentioned in a previous post, my cycles had always been all over the place but they had started to become more regular since we hit the gym and lost a bit of weight. Well, my now somewhat regular period didn’t come so I figured I’d take a test just to check. I got a cheapie from Poundland and was insanely shocked to find that there were two lines on that sucker. As it was just a cheapie I decided that it wasn’t going to be as reliable as other makes, so I got myself a Tesco one and that came up positive too. My hubby didn’t want to let himself believe it so we then moved on to a Clearblue digital and that came up positive, then my mum wanted me to check again so she got me a First Response test, and that too was a positive … and a strong one at that!

I had been having some abdominal pains for a while (another thing being looked into with a doctor where no reasons were found) and they decided to send me up to the EPU for a scan. I was nervous as anything and truly terrified when the lady before me had to be ushered into a “quiet room” after her scan had not shown positive things – I felt so sad for her and can’t imagine how it must feel to see your baby on a screen to only be told that you’ll never be able to hold them! It was then my turn and after a quick external scan they found this…

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Our little dot!

I was told that I was 6 weeks and a day pregnant and sent on my way with smiles and congratulations all around. Even seeing this little dot, I still couldn’t get my head around the fact that I was pregnant, all I could think was how the doctor said it wouldn’t happen on its own. I felt like it was some kind of joke and even though I was happy, I found it really hard to show it as I kept thinking that I’d be told that they were wrong and this baby would be snatched away from me.

Fast forward a few more weeks and I met with my midwife where I still couldn’t believe that this was happening. I got referred on for my 12 week scan and then felt like I’d been smacked in the face when this little baby … OUR little baby, was shown up on screen.

 

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My hubby couldn’t attend this scan as it was his last day of work for his old employer but my mum came with me. I’m so glad that I got to share that with her as her face was a picture, especially when they showed us a view of just their little feet – I think that was the moment that I let myself fall in love with this child. So the dot had grown into a baby and I finally found myself believing in what I was seeing and being told. I felt so lucky and excited and still do at this point now. I’ve since been for my 20 week scan with my hubby and daughter and everyone was thrilled to see our new addition doing well.

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When asked what she’d like the baby to be, Soph decided on a girl to which the technician replied “uhhhh ohhhh”. So it would appear that we are having a boy and whilst it’s not what Soph decided on, she (and we) are more than happy with the result.

I’m currently 26+6 days pregnant and our due date is June 7th 2018 and I cannot wait for that day to come so that our family of three can become an awesome foursome!

So yeah, that’s pretty much the main things that have happened in my 97 day absence. I’m hoping not to leave it so long between posts but we will see how that goes! now it’s time to catch up with the posts that I’ve missed!

Thanks for reading,

Have a good one!

Deb xox

 

Square One

So a bit of history is probably the way to start this blog off. This could go on for a while so I’ll aim to keep it short and sweet.

My hubby and I met when I started temping at the company that he worked for. We started chatting, moved on to dating, bought a house together, got hitched in Vegas …

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Hitched in 2011 wearing a three piece suit and fully fitted dress in 40 degree heat. Awesome day and holiday!

and started to try for a baby.

Sadly the trying for a baby thing wasn’t as easy as we hoped it would be, my periods were all over the place, I wasn’t ovulating and it just wasn’t happening for us so we went to the doctor to see what was what. After a few tests I was diagnosed with “unexplained infertility” and sent to see a fertility specialist at the hospital. More tests were performed and the specialist I saw decided that I’d need Clomid and Provera to start our medically assisted baby making journey. I was prescribed a years worth of medication but when I went to the pharmacy to get my pills they refused to give them to me because of the length of the prescription.

We then headed back to our GP who assessed the matter, gave me a revised prescription for three months and told me to book another appointment for a couple of months down the line.Β The first month passed and I began to ovulate but we didn’t manage to conceive, the second month came and again, I ovulated but didn’t conceive. Now it was time to head back to the GP. He told me that as we hadn’t conceived that we were being referred to the IVF clinic and that I wasn’t to bother taking the last months worth of Clomid. My hubby and mum both told me to take the meds that I had left, so like the good wife and daughter (and bad patient) that I am, I took the tablets that I had left and attended my appointment with the IVF team.

At the appointment we were told that my hubby would need to provide a semen sample for analysis and that I’d need a HSG before we could progress so everything was booked in and the wait began. The day of the HSG test came and before the test could be run a pregnancy test would need to be done to make sure that I wasn’t pregnant as this test would not be administered if I was. Imagine our shock when the test came back positive! The last months worth of Clomid, some charting, OPK’s, Preseed and good ol’ nookie created our amazing, perfect little girl. She’s my everything and I love her more than I can explain.

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My squidgy dumpling getting her first ever cuddle as a newborn!

So why do you want another child? I hear you ask – well I always pictured myself having two or three kiddies and my daughter has also said that she would love a sister … a brother is acceptable and she’d love him just as much but a sister is her preference.

Fast forward to now and I am not ovulating again, I went back to a GP who referred me straight up to the hospital. I finally had a HSG done and all was well and after further testing my diagnosis of “unexplained infertility” morphed into “low ovarian reserve”. The specialist told me that she would be willing to provide me with Clomid and Provera again but only when I got my BMI down to 30 or less. I’m currently at 37 and need to lose around 45lbs. I have now been discharged from her care until I can manage my weight.

I’ve joined a gym and now use Boditrax to monitor my body but so far any fat that I have lost has been gained back in muscle.

I’ve since been back to the GP who has given me strict instructions to only focus on cardio even when I’ve been told that I need to build muscle to then burn more fat and to skip carbs after 6pm. I don’t know how well I’ll do on the cutting out of the carbs but I’ll definitely be calorie counting and portion controlling in an attempt to lose the weight that I need to and more.

So that’s where I’m at right now, lets see where I end up!