The Fat Girl Clothing Dilemma

I have been invited out next Saturday night for a good old piss up to celebrate the 30th birthday of one of the mums in our “circle of mums” which is basically a small group of us who have a natter in the school yard before the kids go in and when we pick them up.

I haven’t been out drinking in years and I don’t drink so this could be messy fun!

The problem that I now have is that I have no clothes to wear out, I’m very much a jeans and hockey top kind of girl so I’m in a bit of a panic as the other mums were all on about wearing their LBD’s. They are also all much, much smaller in size than me – oh the joys of being the “fat friend” – and are all much more capable of finding lovely clothes to wear.

So today, after taking my daughter to a bounce house, I dragged her around all of the clothing shops in our town and found an amazing bargain on a pair of black boots from Dorothy Perkins – they were marked down from £60 to £7. SEVEN WHOLE POUNDS! That may be the bargain of my life so far! Annoyingly, whilst riding a bargain hunter high, I found shit all else on the racks – I tried a few things on but everything fit poorly, looked awful or was waaaaaaay to expensive for one night out on the town.

So now I’m stuck with not much time to go shopping (we are going away next week and I don’t think my family would appreciate being dragged around on a clothing hunt!) and very little confidence in finding something that will look acceptable.

They also started talking about their make-up and contouring. At this point I checked out completely as I never wear make up and have no fucking clue as to how to apply it. One of the mums was going on about this green stuff that you put on your face underneath this other stuff … what the hell would I want to do that for? Can you sweat make-up off? If so, will she look like she’s hulking out by the end of the night?

I was freaking out to my hubby about all of this earlier and he suggested meeting me at a local designer village not too far away after work tomorrow for a look around there. I’ve told him I’ll go but I’m not getting my hopes up that I’ll find anything, but I guess you never know…

Right well I guess it’s time for bed,

Remember you’re awesome!

Deb x

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Well Duhhh!

The more that I calorie count everything that I eat, the easier it is to see where and how I went wrong in the past.

I’ve created spreadsheets to track my weight loss and calorie consumption as I find this a handy way to compare days and keep track but what I’m amazed by is how quickly the numbers all add up.

Just today I sat eating lunch with my daughter and she didn’t want to finish the little bun that was on her plate … so I did. As soon as I ate it I went to my spreadsheet and added on 75 calories (75 … for half of a small fairy cake!!!! I won’t be getting her these again!) and made sure I had it covered in my daily allowance. But this got me to thinking, if I wasn’t tracking my calories then I’d probably have gone on to have a cake of my own too, I’d have finished her sandwich, I’d have eaten some crisps etc. The eating would have carried on and I’d have had no clue as to how far over for the day I was. I wouldn’t have even thought about it – it’s so easy! 

It was like the lightbulb above my head switched on and I realised just how badly I’d been eating in the past and just how that affected my waistline and weight … then I had the “Well Duhhh” moment. It’s just so glaringly obvious and I knew how poorly I was eating, I just suppose I never really wanted to stop before.

This spurred me on to have my best session at the gym to date. I was working harder, going faster and sweating more than I ever had and, for the first time in a long time, I felt insanely proud of myself.

Right now I’m riding a high and I reallllly hope it continues. 

In other news, today I purchased my second Christmas present of the year. This was for my hubby but I get to join in on the fun as we are going to see Gogol Bordello and Lucky Chops live. Squeeee! 

The best thing is that this gig isn’t until the middle of December so I can go on a shopping spree for an outfit to wear as I’ll have hopefully lost quite a bit of weight by then. I’m excited for this as I despise shopping right now, I hate having to rummage through clothing trying to find my size, or finding something in my size only to find that it looks like I’ve thrown an ill-fitting sack over my head. I can’t wait to be able to just walk up to a rack, grab something from the middle, try it on and be happy with how I look. That will be an epic day in my weight loss journey.

Right, well I’m off to read with the kiddies tomorrow for the last time this school year so I’m going to get some sleep. 

Sweet dreams, 

Deb x